The Haumea Effect
Space Fleet Archival Transcript (formerly redacted) (A Looong Time Ago.)
Tivk: This will not end well ...
Commander: Your opinion is duly noted Mr. Tivk. Please report.
Tivk: Aye sir ...
Sparks: Sir, report from Triton base! They have inbound Zangid destroyers! Task force Epsilon and Lambda are engaged and reporting heavy losses.
Commander: Great. They never got past the Oort Cloud defenses before.
Tivk: Do you still want my report?
Commander: Yes. Let's do this weapons test before we wind up testing the new torpedoes on targets that fire back.
Tivk: The torpedo and launcher systems are nominal. Good chance it won't detonate upon firing.
Commander: If it does ... we'll just have to get closer to the damned Zangid before firing them.
Tivk: If it does we will be doing nothing or determining which of our many belief systems are correct. In the later case I recommend summer uniforms for you.
Commander: Target the impact site on Haumea and prepare to fire.
Tivk: Aye sir. Sir?
Commander: Yes?!
Tivk: The Zangid ships in your home system will doubtless see this test. That would be true even if we were using a simple fission device. You have discretion to stop this test. I urge you to.
Commander: The hell with that. They've kicked us in the teeth for three years. Let them see and let them fear. You Taurans ... you're good people but you quit a fight too soon.
Tivk: We have survived in space longer than your people had computers ... or electricity. Perhaps we know something you don't.
Commander: Perhaps the Zangid were otherwise occupied and you got lucky. Ready to fire?
Tivk: Launchers are still cycling. Sir ... Haumea has an abnormally large concentration of Ionite. I am concerned about a secondary reaction ...
Commander: Yes. hopefully we'll crack the crust, be able to get at it easier and fuel the war machine.
Tivk: War is not a machine. It is a fire. New Tauran saying.
Commander: New?
Tivk: We made it up just for you. Launcher cycling completed.
Commander: Fire torpedoes one through three at site alpha. Fir. Fire. FIRE!!
Tivk: Firing.
<<Choooooooooom! Choooooooooom! Choooooooooom!>>
Sparks: Three seconds to impact. Torpedoes on course. Two. One. Impact one!
Tivk: One hundred megaton yield!
Sparks: Impact two!
Tivk: 312 megaton yield.
Sparks: Impact three ... energy spike! Skipper the Ionite in the crust is reacting to the explosi ...
Tivk: Ionite particle wave inc ...
Commander: Full shields forward. Full retro ...
<<Bwathoom!>>
<<Crackle! Crackle! Sprrrrrttz!>>
Tivk: Damage control reporting ... damage to all decks. Injuries all decks ... casualties ...
Commander: Koff koff. Transfer to auxiliary command center. And add me to the injured list. I think this bone is not supposed to be sticking out.
Tivk: You are in shock. Let me help you. Sparks, you have the conn I suppose.
Commander. Yes, what the beanpole said.
Tivk: Let me get the hatch. Congratulations. The test was a success.
Commander: To put it mildly ... we are the ... destroyers of worlds. Small ones anyway.
Tivk: Yes. You can destroy worlds ... and the Zangid now know it. They were throwing half their fleet at you before and now ... you are a real threat.
Commander: My God ...
Tivk: Your God has competition and it's you.
One of the more interesting species specific powers in Spore is the ability to destroy an entire planet. I came upon it by accident (this is what happens when your race evolves from a suitably vicious animal). Needless to say I used it because I, the player, am human. Humans would keep a weapon around that would fracture history and stop the Big Bang just in case. Also I was losing a fight.
... and three formerly friendly and hospitable governments turned hostile to me.
Building a doomsday weapon is the mark of an up and coming empire or evil genius. Not everyone will like that. Keep it in mind.
Tivk: This will not end well ...
Commander: Your opinion is duly noted Mr. Tivk. Please report.
Tivk: Aye sir ...
Sparks: Sir, report from Triton base! They have inbound Zangid destroyers! Task force Epsilon and Lambda are engaged and reporting heavy losses.
Commander: Great. They never got past the Oort Cloud defenses before.
Tivk: Do you still want my report?
Commander: Yes. Let's do this weapons test before we wind up testing the new torpedoes on targets that fire back.
Tivk: The torpedo and launcher systems are nominal. Good chance it won't detonate upon firing.
Commander: If it does ... we'll just have to get closer to the damned Zangid before firing them.
Tivk: If it does we will be doing nothing or determining which of our many belief systems are correct. In the later case I recommend summer uniforms for you.
Commander: Target the impact site on Haumea and prepare to fire.
Tivk: Aye sir. Sir?
Commander: Yes?!
Tivk: The Zangid ships in your home system will doubtless see this test. That would be true even if we were using a simple fission device. You have discretion to stop this test. I urge you to.
Commander: The hell with that. They've kicked us in the teeth for three years. Let them see and let them fear. You Taurans ... you're good people but you quit a fight too soon.
Tivk: We have survived in space longer than your people had computers ... or electricity. Perhaps we know something you don't.
Commander: Perhaps the Zangid were otherwise occupied and you got lucky. Ready to fire?
Tivk: Launchers are still cycling. Sir ... Haumea has an abnormally large concentration of Ionite. I am concerned about a secondary reaction ...
Commander: Yes. hopefully we'll crack the crust, be able to get at it easier and fuel the war machine.
Tivk: War is not a machine. It is a fire. New Tauran saying.
Commander: New?
Tivk: We made it up just for you. Launcher cycling completed.
Commander: Fire torpedoes one through three at site alpha. Fir. Fire. FIRE!!
Tivk: Firing.
<<Choooooooooom! Choooooooooom! Choooooooooom!>>
Sparks: Three seconds to impact. Torpedoes on course. Two. One. Impact one!
Tivk: One hundred megaton yield!
Sparks: Impact two!
Tivk: 312 megaton yield.
Sparks: Impact three ... energy spike! Skipper the Ionite in the crust is reacting to the explosi ...
Tivk: Ionite particle wave inc ...
Commander: Full shields forward. Full retro ...
<<Bwathoom!>>
<<Crackle! Crackle! Sprrrrrttz!>>
Tivk: Damage control reporting ... damage to all decks. Injuries all decks ... casualties ...
Commander: Koff koff. Transfer to auxiliary command center. And add me to the injured list. I think this bone is not supposed to be sticking out.
Tivk: You are in shock. Let me help you. Sparks, you have the conn I suppose.
Commander. Yes, what the beanpole said.
Tivk: Let me get the hatch. Congratulations. The test was a success.
Commander: To put it mildly ... we are the ... destroyers of worlds. Small ones anyway.
Tivk: Yes. You can destroy worlds ... and the Zangid now know it. They were throwing half their fleet at you before and now ... you are a real threat.
Commander: My God ...
Tivk: Your God has competition and it's you.
One of the more interesting species specific powers in Spore is the ability to destroy an entire planet. I came upon it by accident (this is what happens when your race evolves from a suitably vicious animal). Needless to say I used it because I, the player, am human. Humans would keep a weapon around that would fracture history and stop the Big Bang just in case. Also I was losing a fight.
... and three formerly friendly and hospitable governments turned hostile to me.
Building a doomsday weapon is the mark of an up and coming empire or evil genius. Not everyone will like that. Keep it in mind.
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